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Sam

Date 139: The Puerto Rican Little Mama, The Witch

Updated: May 27, 2022

Yes, you read that right? a witch. A date with a self proclaimed witch, with a coven and all. She was from Puerto Rico, displaced by Hurricane Irma at the time. Orlando had an influx of Puerto Rican students and UCF at the time was waiving tuition for anyone affected by the disaster. My good friend who I'll call The Homie, we had a motto: if there was a place we wanted to go and we couldn't get dates to go with and then we'd get dates at said location. The carnival was in town in Waterford Lakes it was very close and I was dead set on going. Luckily, I matched the Witch Little Mama, so we planned to meet at the Waterford Carnival. We went on a few rides, I feigned nervousness and fear on the height of the Ferris wheel , just a cute gesture. But when you're dating me, the first location is just pre-game, I usually always follow a date with an activity like dancing or hitting the club.


It's at this point in the date that The Homie and his friend joins us, so it's all four of us at the college pub and I didn't really think about how it turned to a group date; later I would get reprimanded because she wanted it to be an exclusive 1 on 1 date. At the time I didn't really think anything of it. Around this period, I always wanted the girl to meet my friends if they were around and living in student housing, my college friends were always in close reach.


So we went to the local college pub and went to the dance floor right away. She's shy despite telling me how a loose of a dancer she was earlier at the carnival and her crazy threesomes that she had. For a quote on quote "wild girl" she was really reserved. At the pub, we ran into a girl I've known for a long time who always seems to be in the same place as me, The Ride or Die Little Mama, I can't say I didn't care about that girl, she was a super important date, we hung out for a year, had same class schedule. But her backstory will come if you continue reading the categories in order. The Witch Little mama saw I was flustered so we leave and we go back to my place, she brought tarot cards with her, I entertained it and she gave a pretty generic but accurate reading. A little kissing and that's all. It's the second date where things really get interesting.


The Second Date


So we plan to meet again. She starts training at this new job, something to do with her being bilingual, she comes over after training with her work binder. She comes to my place with a whole new haircut. I don't know how we got there but we start playing Overwatch and the vibes are real platonic, she plays Lucio and gets frustrated every time I try to offer her advice. So my plan to salvage this date was to take her on a motorcycle ride to the school at night and just walk around. Note though at this time my motorcycle was a piece of junk , a starter bike I bought off Craigslist, so I always have to charge it up after every few starts. Usually I'd keep a spare battery and tender in the saddlebag to charge the bike when I'm parked. So she leaves her work training binder in one of my saddlebags. We begin walking and talking. She just flat out says that she isn't interested, that I act too macho and she wasn't pleased our date had extra members involved. She says that she doesn't want to see me again. Though I was a little surprised then, it's more clarity and honesty future women will offer.


So we head back to the bike, I said I'd take her home and that will be the end of that. And I turn the key and the damn bike doesn't start. Embarrassing, I forgot to plug the charger in.

.It takes about thirty minutes for the tender to feed the motorcycle battery enough charge for the bike to start and the Witch Little Mama definitely didn't want to wait. She calls an Uber out of there, leaving me stranded with my bike. I call The Homie to come pick me up and we leave my bike charging in the school parking lot, I'd come back for it in the morning. I realize that she left her work binder in my saddlebag and I take it with me and The Homie and I head back to our apartments. I get a call from the Witch Little Mama that she needs her binder and she is on her way back to my apartment to pick it up. So here I am conspiring with my friend to see if maybe I can say some magical words to change her mind as she's making her way back. I had it all planned out, I would hold the binder in my hand say something real romantic, go in for a kiss and save the night. Haha, If only things ever go as exactly as planned. She shows up to my place...with her freaking father. So I really didn't have chance to comment on the night or say what I intended to, I returned the binder and later told the The Homie what happened. Mission Failed.











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