At this point, this is my second week in Asia, having just left Tokyo and inbound for Manila, Philippines. I seemed to be doing the exact same things as last year. Same hotel, same hostels, same restaurants. Those first three days in Manila were even more boring than last year. Calling upon the same Filipinas from last year who didn't even see me the year prior, they made the same excuses. Even when I gave them notice, even when I gave them a one year, two month, two week, two day and a two hour notice of my arrival, those lazy Filipinas still didn't show up. The excuses were maddening.
I figured if they didn't prepare for my arrival despite all the heads up notices I gave them, then they didn't care too much. God knows if the girl I really wanted was coming to Miami, that I would be messaging her and watching her every story to see if she has arrived safely. Even before she arrived I'd be filled with excitement, anticipating and daydreaming of our dates together. That if a girl I really liked was coming into town, I would try to make immediate plans in advance if I could. Even if it was a male friend, I'd drop everything for them because I know their time in my city is limited. It be disrespectful if a friend told me they were coming to visit Miami and gave me many notices to see me and when that friend came I just told him:
"I'm busy, I'll see you in two weeks."
Though the Miami situation is hypothetical, that's exactly what one Filipina told me. That she could see me in TWO WEEKS In Manila, when I could barely survive three days the year before without leaving out of boredom, with a woman in my bedroom! Two weeks of lounging around and wasting money just for someone to be ready to see you?! What a joke, and that was the last I spoke to that girl. Even with a year notice, and a week notice she still failed me, yet the options were bountiful. This year I was equally bored without a woman in my bedroom. I felt insulted in a more angry, not sad way. The Filipino laziness that I was warned about was too persistent for a fast paced American like me. But I recalled my own stories about the Five Filipina Virgins and the key to victory and decided all that was left was to pursue the virgins and choose a city and pray it didn't end up exactly like Iloilo. Coming to the epiphany of realization I was wasting my time in Manila and the women I requested were far from the ideal type. They already dated Black men and too many foreigners, I needed the excitement of something new to be someone new to a girl too. I gave everyone notice, virgin and non virgin alike, and it was then I decided to reward effort and not beauty. Eliminating all the fun options, the best options were still on the table, with similar quality to the Taiwanese Little Mama, if not as interesting. Hopefully.
First thing, I eliminated the single moms, so that got rid of even the Manila girls I met the year before. Second thing was eliminating the Filipinas I tried to see last year who eluded me again, the freckled Iloilo woman and a few others. Third was ignoring the non virgins. If I was going to do all this again without regret then I should at least pursue what I said I'd pursue.
This time it wasn't a vacation it was a mission for the virgin woman, get in and get out. Get out fast and return to Japan, that was the plan. There were virgins who didn't even offer me an itinerary or some sort of plan on what to do in their city, there those who barely replied, there who were repulsive and rude. Finally, there were also some who were entertaining and talking to many other men abroad, long distance relationships, those virgin Filipina, loyal to nothing but a dream that their foreigners would arrive and change their lives.
I suppose I needed a vacation from vacation, Japan was already perfect enough but If Japanese and The Taiwanese women eluded me I had to succeed in the Philippines for real this time. Those first three days I tried to bring the women to me, any girl I was talking to for months and years I invited them all yet nothing, even if I offered all expenses and room. They were too fearful or doubtful. I saw at that moment all my talking and time was about to go up in dust. It wasn't money holding back these women but fear, fear of going alone, or lack of any travel experience, lack of IDs, lack of paperwork. They weren't the sacrificial/romantic kind, meeting someone for the sake of love and conquest. In the Philippines, Filipinas expect foreigners to come to their cities, villages and knock on their front doors, because that's what millions of foreigners have done before. Easy for her, hard for you.
For some FIlipina it was pure laziness or lack of being able to travel by airplane or sea. For some it was their duty to their family to be present and accountable. This was a third world where adult Filipinas still live and are governed like children; women with bed times, curfews and unable to travel far without checking in. This was a land of contradictions, a land full of single moms and ironically virgins. Two sides of the same coin, a virgin can become a single mom in a mere year. I had to make a sound decision, I didn't have infinite money or time to wait around to figure this out. So I headed to General Santos, there was only one Filipina who did give me an itinerary, and she did it for free, the Virgin Little Mama, let's call her C.
C gave me a very detailed spreadsheet on Google Sheets, it listed all the nightclubs, bars, tours, hotels and even shopping plazas in the cities. It had the addresses for each location, the cost of each activity and even the phone numbers associated with each business. It was ten times more detailed than any of my personal itinaries I made for my previous trips, it was even color coded! And I spoke to this girl everyday online, maybe even till now. Though nothing ever too deep.
In contrast, C was a very simple woman, even when we chatted online it was never truly deep, nothing mind blowing. I suffered for years trying to get a deep stimulating conversation out of a Filipina and raged and stopped talking to many altogether due to the knowledge gap. Your average 25 year old Filipina was as smart as a 15 year old American student, it's just the facts. The Philippines is a simple third world country trapped in an archaic mindset, where most women are single moms and were single moms as teens and where most men cheat on their partners, girlfriends and wives. The cities of the Philippines reflect the "genius" of the nation. Broken infrastructure, broken people. You'll never hear a foreigner brag about how smart his Filipina is. I read many forums about foreigners complaining about how simple minded they are or never getting a deep conversation. What they do brag about is their beauty. Filipinas generally are very beautiful and it's plentiful to find but I wasn't even interested in that, I already had it and brought me nothing. If one doesn't seek beauty or brains then what can he seek? Well, in my case: virginity.
A woman with a good heart may be worth more than beauty or brains, so I made the wild decision to choose just that. Avoiding the sexual temptation of Manila, Cebu, Boracay, Masbate and all the other Filipinas who enticed me with sexual vacations. I must continue my abstinence in General Santos. I notified C of my arrival that morning and told her to prepare, that I would be in General Santos in four hours. I told her to prepare a driver from the airport and to pay for my hotel. It was a mere test but I wondered if she would even do it. She quickly got all those things in order before I boarded my flight. She tracked my flight schedule and when I arrived at the airport, she was there to pick me up. When she met me, she didn't say much, no kiss on the cheek or hug. She was a very skinny woman, flat chested and flat all around. A simple face, she wore a beret. blue jeans and a simple shirt. She was very small and she spoke so softly I couldn't hear her at all. I constantly had to shout to her to speak up. That first day she barely made eye contact with me. Perhaps this was a true virgin and I had to teach her a lot, from scratch. From social skills to sexual skills. We drove into the city and I took a look at the city of General Santos. It was a simple city, it looked better than Manila at least, nothing like Iloilo though which I believe to be way more developed of a Phillipines city. Either way I had come to this city to make true to my own goals, for the virgin, for her. And now half of my vacation would be in this city alone. The long term date that is the virgin Filipina and a new Philippines city: General Santos City.
We spent the first day shopping for items at SM Market, the hotel of choice was: Hotel San Marco. A celebrity hotel by Philippines or General Santos standards. The hotel was quaint, archaic but had a nice vintage appeal to it, with 1900s European sepia and reddish tones. We spent some time in the hotel, the first day in bed. It was hard enough to get her in bed, let alone take off her clothes. Too much resistance, and nothing much. Just some kisses, and I stripped and showed her privates. I taught her how to do a handjob and a proper blowjob, and halfway as she performed it, the power of the entire building went out!
Everything went dark.
She said it was a sign from God that we should stop so we did. The entire experience would be a lot of these near sexual experiences but no penetration. A real virgin Filipina cant be slept with on the first night, second or third. Not even a real Filip[na with a low body count. Most Filipina I met before would get naked or have sex within the first hour of meeting, from Manila to Iloilo. And here I stood before an average, timid, shy and highly sexually constrained woman. So it was a slow burn, dinner on the first day, small adventures. kisses and half a blowjob. She would come to my hotel room everyday until I left. It was the standard, she would come bring her laptop and I would connect to the TV and we would watch some series like Dexter or Into the Night in the dark of the room. Some kisses, some blowjobs, but no penetration. Each night I raised the intensity, I taught her something new but my goal was to find a Filipina who would give me her virginity, who would make me her first and last! As I stated in my Five Filipina virgins story, my plan. We had mini adventures, where she took me to a Catholic church to light some prayer candles or some gift shop runs, in addition to our daily dinners. C was a kind woman, always bringing snacks, gifts and keeping me in mind, everyday. If not as beautiful as the others, she was overall better than all the Filipinas I met so far, a loyal special rare kind of beauty.
However, her period was coming and I was no closer to choosing a girlfriend just being teased every night and wasting a condom. Each time she'd cover up her vagina with her hands, resisting entry. The most she did was get on top of me and rub her wet vagina on top of me but that was all. Heated at least. She safeguarded her virginity, unsure if I liked or loved her and I safeguarded my ability to make an official relationship. Women control sex and men control relationships. She held back her sex, so I held back my relationship. There were no winners, only losers and I was the one who got an airplane to get to General Santos. Though unlike Iloilo, I didn't leave completely empty handed. Towards the end, she did get more comfortable and spoke a little louder in the end but still too soft spoken for me. We took a shower together without the sex part, just kisses and cleaning each other. On the last day I bestowed to her a nice ruby necklace and I booked my flight back to Manila. I had wanted to make someone my girlfriend before I left. I had intended to go back to Japan, to Osaka and finish my perfect vacation but I grew weary and decided to go back to Miami early, two weeks ahead of schedule. I did find the many virgins I was seeking in Asia, not just Philippines' but also in Japan, within the first four hours to be precise. Of course getting them to make you their first wouldn't be easy and marrying them, no easier. I needed more time but my soul grew weary, I contemplated returning to Asia to finish my mission but not the Phillipines, onward to new Asian countries.
I still kept in contact with C everyday, a little drama every now and then. Some reflection on our time together and some doubt. Simple conversations still and nothing ever too deep. And if it was deep it was just a one sided rant on my end, and that's never fun. Even with the virgins, something felt missing. Was it the exciting sexual allure of the promiscuous women, the chats, the unexpected nature that I was long addicted to? Or perhaps the more boring, predictable woman was the more of the natural law or reality, of stability for a healthy future?
That was for God and the future to decide.
Days and weeks passed since the Philippines and C and I still spoke. She seemed to hint at wanting a relationship, sending me boyfriend applications as a joke. Though my attraction to her wasn't nearly as strong as the Filipinas and Asians before; I have noted before that most men marry average looking women. They date, marry and settle down with unsuspecting women, women who are not too beautiful with no sexual features, usually no large breasts or ass of any kind. Everyone I knew who was married had a wife like that, not a woman I was ever attracted to, not a woman you'd approach if she was in a nightclub. If my friends' wives were all in a nightclub, they wouldn't be the first or second or third,fourth or even fifth I'd approach to talk or flirt with. It's that kind of unsuspecting, a type of relationship where you can't brag about how hot your girl is, where men don't envy or covet the girl you have. An unsuspecting virgin may be the safe choice I'd ever make being a risky wild daredevil kind of man, it almost made no sense. But not thinking with my dick brain for once, it was a good place to start. A logical choice over an emotional one. Choose a virgin girlfriend yet again, I mean I did see her for a reason, over all the others.
And so , it was settled. Date 217, C, the unsuspecting virgin Filipina is the victor of this mission, of this trip? She was my girlfriend.
Yet the days gone by and I suffer from a deep dissatisfaction.
That I was merely a small part of the whole shared narrative. That every Filipina and American/Western Foreigner had the same exact story. Talking online from some dating app, then some cringey video of a Filipina counting down the days, Some old or middle aged man with a woman way too young, that quickly turns into marriage and children. Followed by a slew of social media family accounts and said Filipina showing off her family and new life that she’s been given by a foreign man. Every Filipina in the Philippines is quick to marry and date a foreigner, but the Filipinas in America can care less about a man, about you, about me. Women are attracted to value not men, so as long as you’re in the Philippines with US Dollars, you have value! So can a Filipina really love a foreigner? Because the Passport Bros and other men aren’t getting Japanese/Korean or Chinese girls nearly that easily, all of the sex tourism and marriage only happens in the poor East Asian countries like Philippines, Thailand and Vietnam.
Perhaps I reached multiple epiphanies, self sabotaging myself again for the greater good. Or I can shut up and accept my Filipina like hundreds of millions of other foreigners, desperate and old men before me. I knew deep down if I chose a foreign wife from a wealthy country that it would be more genuine, but I couldn’t keep the Chinese or Taiwanese little mama for more than a day. That’s more realistic and in line with my dating reality. To use Okcupid and receive a hundred Filipinas matches per day but not even one or two from any other Asian developed country was suspicious. I didn’t become a thousand times more attractive in the Philippines, just a thousand times for perceived value to those 1000+ online matches.
And perhaps I was a true sapiosexual, that I must have a woman I’m deeply attracted to in mind and body. That she must offer me deep chats or offer me a sexy figure, one or the other but never not having both. With C, I never felt a deep sexual attraction or she never displayed a deep sexual showing and though we spoke everyday I never received those back and forth super stimulating talks I’d gotten in the past from random people on the bus, at the airport or a bar/nightclub. To settle now would mean a deep level of tolerance that can turn into something darker if the mood is unaligned even a bit. For her sake and my own, I believe that this would be taking the easy way. To date and marry a Filipina at any point in your life is the easy way and men don’t like easy things, easy women or easy anything. Men are naturally driven by challenge and praised by what is seen as difficult. No one cares if you have or had a Filipina, everyone can do that. But If you had a Japanese, Korean or Chinese girl, all of a sudden you would have a more interesting story. Not sure if it’s Filipinas in general that have turned me off or if I chose the wrong virgin, perhaps a more attractive one , or a more interesting one. Those ones I never met or could meet, they’d suddenly disappear or be unavailable each time I was in the Philippines.
I want to walk my own path, my own story. Not follow the trail of Filipinas and foreign babies of the poor provinces. Just as I struggle to date in one the richest cities in the world, I at least know those who stayed never chose me for money but for me. A testament to all those Miami girls who left. The key to marriage is perhaps not all about personality and kindness but there seems to be a deep financial component and motivation as well.
Coupled by the reality of C’s doubts, constant disrespect and passive aggressive posts and stories on her Instagram that were always clearly about me. For a silent girl who could barely communicate she always had the perfect anti boyfriend meme, video, story, highlight or status. I was receiving constant disrespect from a girl that wasn’t even as interesting or attractive as any woman I dated before. And then all of sudden I had to make a choice. Yes, she was the virgin I was looking for, that I traveled across the world to see, but she was also the girl who spit in the face of my plans to meet again in Taiwan. She disrespected my plans to see her again and start a future, she complained about me to her friends, and hid me from her family, she never told a soul about me. What kind of person hides good things? It’s human nature to show off your success, your joys, your pride, be it your child, job, your house, car, your boyfriend or wife.
I suppose this screenshot was the final nail in the coffin, if a consequence is never imposed then there’ll never be resolutions for poor actions.
So I broke up with her. I don’t need a virgin, I need a beautiful, smart, respectful woman that praises me and delights being with me, that values my time and efforts. For a girl that I spoke to everyday for 3 months, she didn’t value the simple fact that I never speak to anyone everyday, Not any date before, not my mother, not my brothers, not even my closest guy friends. I did things for her, no other has experienced but it wasn’t enough. I offered a free flight to Taiwan to continue our relationship and it wasn’t good enough. The virgin girl from General Santos has shown me her true petty nature. She's stuck in that land and would rather have me return to the Philippines a hundred times to settle it than actually live a life with me. I was done with it, I may not have a perfect plan but we Americans have a wise saying:
“A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”
And I at least had a plan, unlike any woman I’ve met or dated. I followed my plan: go to Asia, get the virgin, start a meaningful relationship….marry? I couldn’t even see myself marrying this girl. Not even having sex with her or having a child with her. I could barely see myself having a deep talk with her, boring mind numbing conversations.
I was done with disrespect, there;s hundreds of millions more Asiansm and virgins and more beautiful women and smart interesting ones too. So I’ll go to Taiwan alone, for my 5th solo trip as usual as always. A blessing that is rebuked and moved by the other party can be stripped and passed on, as God of the Old Testament has done. So I’m passing my blessing on to someone else.
Have faith. God is cooking up a plan, no more Filipina, What I seek is beyond them and I’m on my way to find it. Amen.
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