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I always thought the 199th Date would be explosive...I guess I got hit with some different kinds of bombs. I admit I rushed into this out of boredom and the options after Istanbul seemed to be lackluster and non-responsive. My dating app matches yielded no quality but I told myself I'd be patient. Though this is the chronologically Date 199, the most recent date physically before her was the Turkish Little Mama, 195. I had healed off chlamydia in abstinence and in mind and I was due for a grand comeback into the dating scene. So here's the story of my first date from a terrible wonky dating app called Badoo. I'm sure I'll make a post about the pros and cons of each dating app but Badoo seems to default to Spanish and only Spanish speaking individuals and for some reason most people spoof their location to Miami but 90 percent of them aren't really there.
One night, I matched this Brazilian girl and immediately I questioned if she was really in Miami. She had some racy photos and some that were kind of blurry but she immediately replied with a video message. A revealing one of her holding up her breasts in bed and her wrapped in a white towel. She then questioned if I WAS REAL because my photos were too attractive. So I sent her some voice messages and we went back and forth for about ten minutes. We then exchanged Whatsapps, because I needed info to clarify. She said she had to put some clothes on because she didn't want to video call me naked. I'm thinking to myself "okay, you already showed me your body but that information sounds like some good bait." She then says she is bored and she is looking to have a good time tonight and she spontaneously invites me to a Brazilian party, but I refuse. Too many red flag alerts for someone I matched to already want to go out within thirty minutes. She then hits with the first bomb, a truth bomb. She reveals it's been quite some time since her father died, I suppose an anniversary and she just wants to go out and be with someone. So I strike her deal, I tell her we can go out if it's in my area. I give her the address to Upper Buena Vista and I take a quick shower and play some video games. At this point I'm not too sure If she would have really shown up. I keep my phone near me just in case and at least an hour goes by. Then...
She messages me that she's here. I walk to Upper Buena Vista to greet her and we're off. She seems hyper and cheerful. We begin our walk to The Design District and we talk along the way. She talks of Brazil and her reason being here in Miami and art, nothing really memorable. She stops for a photo in front of a mural so I take one of her and we're off to Midtown, to my favorite restaurant in that area: Negroni. There under the deep red lighting and flourishing ceiling plants we stood. She expressed to me about how she learned Spanish fairly quickly by touring South America. She spoke with the bartender in Spanish for a bit and I got us two Moscow Mules. We sat in the reserved VIP area and it was usually where the DJ would set up. In that open room were a ton of reflective mirrors from above and on the sides of the wall, so we took a video. We sat next to each other, her legs were folded on the bench directly adjacent to my body and we had an intimate chat. She told me that she was a yacht stewardess and she had a cleaning obsession, she even began wiping the table down with her napkin. She complimented me on my appearance and when I leaned in for a kiss she pulled back and took a sip from her drink, but I didn't know why in particular. She gave no reason and persistently expressed she wanted to go dancing. At this point, I'm thinking to myself:
"Well maybe I went in too fast I just need to build some more attraction, the dance floor is a perfect place to do it"
So we set off on a small walk to Wynwood from Midtown, perhaps about 5 minutes tops. We were on the main street and the clubs were in view and she decided to drop a second bomb on me. She began by saying:
"So, I have something to tell you..."
She proceeds to raise her hand to my eye line and continues
"So, I'm married."
While flaunting her ring in my face.
I was shocked and puzzled. This girl had just sent me nudes on Badoo just a few hours ago and apparently she's married. She began to explain how she was in an open relationship when she was onboard long expeditions on the boat as a yacht stewardess. She told me about her time with a girl she met aboard and how her husband was initially okay with it but then opposed to it. I had then asked her where her husband was and she said that her husband actually works nearby here in Wynwood as security for one of the clubs, the name I won't reveal. So I asked her:
Why?
Why lie?
She said she was feeling lonely and it was the anniversary of when her father died and she just wanted to go out. She apologizes over and over about having deceived me and proceeds to hold my hand as we walk towards Booze Garden. Now I'm holding hands with a married woman and I look like an upset kid who is not getting what he wants for Christmas. There we get wristbands for a free shot and we kind of get our drink, look around and leave. I'm mostly not too invested in the date anymore and I tell myself I'll show her one spot and then leave. We head to 1800-Lucky next. In the line for 1800-Lucky, she says she used her "pussy power" to get me to come in front of the entire line. This girl obviously knows her advantage. We get in and she asks if I want a drink and she gets us two beers. She leads me to the dance floor and begins to dance near me then on me but I step back, standing stiff. At this point she's trying everything but I'm emotionally uninvested. She then proceeds to take her phone out and says we should take some photos and send it to her husband. She takes two selfies of us and sends them to me and then her husband. I wish I could share the photos here but I had the most blank expression and she hits a diva pose.
I tell her we should start heading back and we begin our long walk from Wynwood back to my place. On the way back we stop by the Design District again and this time stop by the Palm Courtyard. Sitting near the fountain we had a deep talk and I was going to open up to her about my repetitive dating pattern of disappointment until I saw an angry chubby man walking furiously towards us. It was pretty late at night but the Design District security were some of the chillest people ever, the space was open at all hours and one was never asked to leave. So I wondered just who this guy was?!
When the chubby man approached I realized this was not Design District security, it was her husband! A third bomb, she revealed to me as he was approaching that she shared her location with him on Whatsapp and he'd been tracking us since we arrived in Wynwood! I was shocked, he only caught up to us because I decided to have sit and open up to this girl at the Palm Courtyard and if we kept going he would have knocked on the door to my apartment. I couldn't fathom the thought.
He stepped up to us and completely ignored me. He and the Brazilian Little Mama have a commotion in Portuguese right there at the fountain. He mixed in a bit of English too saying: "I was worried about you and you're with some guy I don't know." She retorted defensively. I stayed for a minute longer and just walked away. He whisked her away to his car. I walked down the main road headed back home and their car passed me by. She yelled out the window: "Bye Sam, had a great night and I'm sorry!" and disappeared into the dark. The next day she proceeded to message me on Whatsapp, apologizing for her deceit and wishing we could be friends. She wished that her husband and I could be friends also. But I never gave her a response, I said I'd think about it. Things were just too weird. I told her if she was honest from the start maybe things would have been different. She told me she was going on a half year long voyage and she wanted me to give her an answer before she embarked. Here is one of those last text messages:
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